TEN TOP INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HMO:

10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooter's.

9. Directions to your Doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

6. The only item listed under Preventative Care coverage is "An apple a day."

5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges" is not a typographical error.

3. The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "M"s on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HMO:

1. You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape